Wise Conduct in the Presence of Your Enemies
This blog is companion to the Wise Conduct tote and notepad.
As part of the legacy of slavery one negative trait that Black Americans have taken on is not knowing how to conduct ourselves in the presence of our enemies. The mercilessly brutal, psychological and physical tortures of chattel slavery altered us at the DNA level in that we were programmed for servitude and convenience to whiteness. When you transpose the brainwashing of Christianity over this you have a recipe for cyclical abuses and indiscriminate descendants ignorant of the devices around them to normalise systemic terrors and the mental subservience that one can embody out of fear of being made a target of attack or avoidance of the inconvenience of having enemies.
Christianity brainwashed us to love our enemies, forgive those who trespass against us, and to pray for those who despicably, despitefully (ab)use us— all of this without any condition or prerequisite. The torture-induced brainwashing done here ensured that generations of Black folks would grow into the belief that the best and most advantageous spiritual outcomes came when enemies were pardoned. Generations of Black people have believed this, without recognising the detriment.
Furthermore, there is the fact that most of us do not use the word “enemy” when discussing whiteness. It’s hardly a word used in the Black [descendant of the Middle Passage] lexicon when describing the morbidity of our predicament here in the West, from USA down to Brazil. We will define the violence of our situation but for some reason will not call the agents and arbiters of said violence our enemies. We will describe the villainous acts committed against us by this nation from Casual Killing Laws to the Georgia Black Codes to the Convict Leasing System to the dumping of crack into our neighbourhoods in the 80s— but we won’t call the profiting organisers of these malignant acts our ENEMIES. As a people we abide by innumerable unspoken rules to navigate the pending violence that could mar or tilt our lives out of orbit at any moment in time for merely existing. Lemonade stands can evoke police-enacted rage from a white neighbour who despises the idea of safe Black childhood. A Black boy of 5 years old touching a tree is enough for an HOA to sue him.
The evil events that created Black history didn’t “HAPPEN” they were committed. This reframing should change how you move through the world. “Happen” removes the reality of a perpetrator. “Committed” validates the existence of an enemy.
Discerning an enemy is a process that’s often full of grief. It is the realization that someone(s) is and has been against us all along, acting against our humanity; working to impede and ultimately snuff out our existence. It causes us to question our reality; to recall and reframe events we thought were organic or consequential, not strategised or premeditated. Recognition of enemies is entering the frame of mind that tells you it’s time to gird up and fight: an unquestionably spiritually and mentally laborious endeavor. Discerning an enemy is discerning that the conduct of warfare mandates that you recognise what the battle will entail of you, and that you need to be still so you can discern how to move, who to trust, what to say/to whom, and what to do. This isn’t paranoia, it’s wisdom.
In warfare, the worse thing you can do is mistake that everyone is your friend, and that any/all information you share about yourself is being used for your benefit. It is a privilege to have no enemies, and a joy to be in community with loving individuals. Hence, for too many of us the realisation that we are being antagonized, sabotaged or schemed against for no reason except our being who we are brings pangs of disbelief, denial and anger that can be lived out for a long time before our conduct shifts. Choosing armour can be a sad process to endure; selecting weaponry (spiritual) can lead you to introspections about the soundness of your character and if you are too trusting. Deciding to amp up in the intentional silence of circumspection is a discipline that comes with isolation, and with that isolation can come waves of despondency because now you have to conduct yourself in the discretion of warfare. And for most of us Black women, this is everyday.
Chattel slavery and Jim Crow programmed us to transform into charicatures in the presence of our enemies. We’re the sassy best friend; the sage acquaintence; the laugh-generator or the capitulated maid. Negatively exaggerating ourselves around our enemies is a protection maneuver: don't be too bold, walk too assertively, or behave too intelligently—and certainly do not wield your silence in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable! Smile when they look at you; whistle while you work; take on a fake joviality that tells them you’re a happy-go-lucky negro, ignorant of their violence and ambivalent of the insidiousness that frames their movements through the world. And worship their jesus, who tells you to constantly forgive them 70x7; to feed them when they are hungry and clothe them when they are naked— then to turn your cheek when they strike you on the other. Being your enemies’ convenience will never develop you into a warrior or the AUTHOR of your own story, because your life is their pen, their ink.
Knowing your enemy requires your memory, rage, indictment and your obedience to these in the way the tides obey the moon. We must know how to change our conduct to align with the truth that we are not guaranteed that history will be told to honour our legacies. We are not guaranteed safety. Warfare mandates focus, skilfulness with spiritual weaponry and intentional actions that incapacitate (in both realms) your enemy. It requires vigilant, wise decisions and conduct that renders you unreadable, inaccessible and impenetrable to those who are determined to be violent against you. As a people, it’s been beaten out of us to not conduct ourselves as if we are surrounded by our enemies, but in our generation and in our journals we can BE a different narrative. We are not domesticated, safe or harmless to these vile beings, and there should be nothing in you that resists this truth.
Here is discernment-oriented council:
Wise Conduct in the
Presence of Your Enemies
by VGB Journals
Do not use your secrets as a bargaining chip to cause them to like you or treat you better.
Keep your secrets to yourself.
Do not invite them. To your home, to sit with you at lunch, to hang out… You should not desire their presence.
Do not show or tell them what makes you happy or gives you joy.
Do not show or tell them what makes you sad or gives you displeasure.
Do not allow your countenance to speak to your raw, unedited feelings.
Do not tell your enemy who you love and how much you love them.
Do not beg them to understand you. Their actions against you are INTENTIONAL. Why are you, entertaining ideas of non-existent good-intention, seeking to appeal to a conscience that does not exist? It’s debasing of the authority you carry. Conduct yourself with the wisdom when the weight of experiencing violence communicates to you that you are not safe, that you are being acted against—that you are in the presence of an enemy.
Realize that all oversight of your Black history is intentional and most convenient for the sustainability of the systems that solely benefit your enemies. If they will not acknowledge Middle Passage descendants, chattel slavery, or Black history in both its evil and victorious elements then they are your enemy. Multiculturalism, diversity and “PoC” rhetoric does not make them
Discern sabotage. Stop allowing your first thought to be that their actions were unintentional, accidental, unbeknownst, or done unaware. They meant to do it, and they benefit from your being intercepted by exploitation, violation, damage, demotion, peril, etc. While you are caught up dealing with events you think are organic, they are benefitting from your not connecting said events/outcomes with their need to ascend through violence.
Your first thought in any negative situation you think is merely “happening” needs to be reflecting on the cause and effect of a course of events and how this is working in favour of your enemy.Do not hug them, pat their shoulder, compliment them or give them any form of physical or psychological affection. Do you need to smile at them? Why do you feel is It’s not your job to convince them that you have exonerated them of their ancestors’ crimes against your people’s humanity. It is a disgrace and dishonour to your ancestors to think you can pick and choose who is good for you based on their current, topical and insubstantial actions towards you. Niceness is not enough—stop settling for it (it’s embarrassing). These have been scientifically proven to create ease, but also these actions are done by one who is desperate for visibility by anyone, including one who is meaningless to them.
Be careful that you do not revere your enemies. They do not deserve such consideration from you, the induction into your given pause of reasonable doubt or consideration of probable goodness.
Do not comfort your enemies when they are experiencing violence, hardship, troubles, etc. It’s ALL a reaping. Learn to regard their suffering with historical references of what their ancestors have committed against you, as is the role of the living witness. And beware that you do not allow your energies of consolation or prayers etc. to console or provide energetic protection/covering for them. It’s your job to be the confirmation on your ancestors’ behalf; your job to say “for all you have done, this violence you are enduring is justice on my behalf and I will not interfere.”
Do not participate in their celebrations— violence against you or someone else is usually the cause for their joviality. They make monuments for rapists and erase your valiant heroes. Why are you involved in their holidays? Why do you attend their cocktail hours?
You should not be seen in participation with ANYTHING they do. This shouldn’t be said but only a slave believes they have no choice but to be in the company of their enemy. Why are you at that company picnic?
Do not laugh in their presence. NOTHING about your conduct should hint to them that they have a chance at being liked by you.
Do not make it your business to make them think you are safe to them. Whiteness maintains the ideas that Blackness is violent, heinous, and unsafe. It’s not your job to go out of your way to disprove this.
And for the love of the Divine: DO NOT LET THEM HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR CHILDREN.
